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[May. 16th, 2005|03:39 pm] |
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Hey I've decided to switch over to Xanga.. so come check me out sometime
www.xanga.com/Nat06xo |
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| This might cheer you up.. it helped for me Hell yea girls! |
[Apr. 13th, 2005|05:44 pm] |
This is my tribute to the nice girls.
To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong.
This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times.
This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood.
This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention.
This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word.
This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds."
This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.
This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced.
This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed.
This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt.
This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.
This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with.
This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone.
This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup.
This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had.
This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.
This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep.
This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear.
This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted.
This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more, for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys. |
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| Random Thoughts |
[Nov. 20th, 2004|12:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Prince - I would die for you (lol on radio) | ] |
Why is this year so much different than all the rest? I think this is the year that everyone has grown up the most, and people aren't as cliquey as before. I've noticed that our junior class has a LOT of pretty girls, but none of them seem to be envious of one another.. they're just happy to be themselves. And that to me is incredible. Walking through the halls though, I always see these familiar faces that just aren't familiar anymore, and I miss these girls a lot!
Andrea- We used to have some totally fun times! Like every year during the holidays i'd go to ur house and we'd make pumpkin pie/cheesecake and we'd eat all of it haha. And we'd sit on ur trampoline like every day after school and talk about cute boys and how much we wanted boyfriends. Lol we knew nothing back then, but still it was awesome! Blaah i guess it was middle school that tore us apart.
If I had the chance to do middle school over, I'm not sure if i would. I think I could have gotten a lot more out of it if I opened my eyes once in awhile. I didn't really have any major concerns back then, and I met a lot of cool people there too.
Anyway, I think this year everyone looks older too. Like no one really wears a lot of make up, but they look more mature. Except for me with my railroad teeth lol I hate braces. I also found out some really disturbing information about one of my "best" friends. What makes a friend anyway? Keeping things like that secrets from everyone but one person cuz you'll think they'll think different of you? Well its true, I do. And I don't agree with your decision at all- and you have your whole life to go. But this is you here, Do what you want. Cuz i know you already have.
Just like every year, I'm loosing and im gaining, except this year I think i'm gaining more. (Even the weight lol). But this year I think I'm the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. Things are starting to make sense! And its great to know that so many people are there for you whenever you need them - and I'm here for you too! |
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| Am I Crazy or does this just not make sense? |
[Nov. 5th, 2004|11:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Crossroads- Bone thungs n harmony | ] |
Okay, get this..
You hang out with someone once a week (at the most), and sometimes you don't even get that chance. That person complains all the time that you two do not see each other enough. That person does their own thing everyday and you don't get mad at them for it at all. Then.. you want to hang out more than once a week, but not much more, you know the way it should be with a friend,.. but that person tells your friend that your clingy for wanting to hang out that much. Does that make sense? Hippocritical?? I think so. Or maybe I'm just dumb.. either way, i'm confused. That's all for now folks and TGIF. |
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| AMAZING day! |
[Oct. 16th, 2004|05:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rascal Flatts- Praying for daylight | ] |
Ok i'll admit, last night things were pretty rocky. I didn't know if anything was ending or not, but I went to bed so glad it didn't. It's not like I like making him sad, but I think he needs to know what's worrying me, and what is is that we don't hang out enough. But there's no doubt in my mind that we can get through this. I just need a little faith in myself and with the help of god, hopefully, I can get my license very very soon.
Today I went with Traci to order her boutoneer (have no idea how to spell that), cuz I had already ordered mine. And then we picked up Kendall, then went to JoAnn Fabrics, and the Flower shop. I wanted to get him something because I felt horrible. So I ended up with a rose and a bracelet that meant prosperity or something like that, I just got it cuz it was green and that is his favorite color. So then us 3 went to Mike and Dave's where Eric was already there waiting for Traci. And we all exchanged gifts. I never really considered Sweetest Day to be a holiday before, and I don't know if I do now, but I am so incredibly glad I have him. I feel like I'm sitting on top of the whole world right now. He gave me the most beautiful rose I have ever seen, and a super cute pink bear. He tries so hard to be a good boyfriend for me, and he's the best.
I have always believed that "Good things come to those who wait", and now I think that this really is true. So many times i've been the odd one out, not being able to go places with my friends cuz I wasn't "with" somebody. For years I've been the one with nobody left to like, and no boy to turn to. Last year I had to miss homecoming because I was the only one in my group without a date. That was my decision, but why would I want to sit by myself during all of this.
So finally, my turn came. And I always imagined how my boyfriend would be like. I never would have guessed that I would have him of all people; and I never imagined that it would be this great. I'm so so greatful right now for absolutely everything in my life. I never had guys to ask their opinion and now I have so many great guy friends. Mann, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're at a rough point in your life right now.. things actually DO get better. The wait is rough and rocky, but it is absolutely awesome in the end!!
Ohh and Kendall and Dave are officially going out!!
Homecoming is in EXACTLY 1 week!!!! Yes!!!
--Later! |
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